STEP: STudent Ecumenical Partnership

Different directions

Tony McMahon On the verge of finishing my sophomore year of college — and getting ready to travel abroad to study at Oxford University for a semester — I was hit with something that shook my tiny little world. On the last day of college I was checking my e-mail when I received a most devastating message: my close friend and mentor was leaving his position as campus minister to pursue a job as minister for a congregation in Montana. I wasn't surprised, in retrospect, but I won't say I wasn't crushed. Yet it was the severity of the pain that seemed so surprising.

At first I laughed, and then I cried. It seems silly, believe me, but in many ways it makes sense. Growing up, my father was often gone, which was one of many factors that led to my parent's divorce. Because of this, I really shut myself off from many male authority figures, and when I did let one in, it was usually in such a way that I respected them to the uttermost level. The last few months of my sophomore year I became very good friends with him, particularly after the Alternative Spring Break trip to Ukraine.

After the initial hit, I went to the park for a little while and just thought to myself. I felt betrayed in so many ways — he had lied to me about it, and I couldn't help but feel that he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was in a bad mood for the next couple of days. The last time I saw him in person, the two of us got separated by a crowd before he could explain himself. I didn't stick around to let him explain himself, and so I departed for the summer, angry and in a lot of respects, feeling both abandoned and guide-less.

I spent a lot of time being angry at him, at what he had done, at the entire situation. It would have stayed that way too, except that I came to the realization one night that I needed to forgive and move on, and not just because it was expected of me. I finally understood that we were both going in the directions God had chosen for each of us, and that sometimes — a lot of times — it means parting from those closest to you. Yet even though that may be the case, I know in my heart that we are both were we need to be, where we are meant to be, and that has made all the difference.

A native of Wauseon, Ohio, Tony McMahon is in his first year on the STEP Leadership Team.



		Different directions On the verge of finishing my sophomore year of college — and getting ready to travel abroad to study at Oxford University for a semester — I was hit with something that shook my tiny little world. On the last day of college I was checking my e-mail when I received a most devastating message: my close friend and mentor was leaving his position as campus minister to pursue a job as minister for a congregation in Montana. I wasn't surprised, in retrospect, but I won't say I wasn't crushed. Yet it was the severity of the pain that seemed so surprising. At first I laughed, and then I cried. It seems silly, believe me, but in many ways it makes sense. Growing up, my father was often gone, which was one of many factors that led to my parent's divorce. Because of this, I really shut myself off from many male authority figures, and when I did let one in, it was usually in such a way that I respected them to the uttermost level. The last few months of my sophomore year I became very good friends with him, particularly after the Alternative Spring Break trip to Ukraine. After the initial hit, I went to the park for a little while and just thought to myself. I felt betrayed in so many ways — he had lied to me about it, and I couldn't help but feel that he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was in a bad mood for the next couple of days. The last time I saw him in person, the two of us got separated by a crowd before he could explain himself. I didn't stick around to let him explain himself, and so I departed for the summer, angry and in a lot of respects, feeling both abandoned and guide-less. I spent a lot of time being angry at him, at what he had done, at the entire situation. It would have stayed that way too, except that I came to the realization one night that I needed to forgive and move on, and not just because it was expected of me. I finally understood that we were both going in the directions God had chosen for each of us, and that sometimes — a lot of times — it means parting from those closest to you. Yet even though that may be the case, I know in my heart that we are both were we need to be, where we are meant to be, and that has made all the difference. A native of Wauseon, Ohio, Tony McMahon is in his first year on the STEP Leadership Team.