The campers and staff at Pilgrim Lodge gather to praise God before their meal, and an energetic wave of song and clapping overwhelms the Lodge as they sing Demos Gracias el Senor, Demos Gracias, Demos Gracias por su amor... We give thanks God, We give thanks, We give thanks for your love. From years as a camper and on summer staff, I have learned many things, but the most important is that God is Love. Each summer our camp director instructs the campers to do three things while at camp - Love God, love yourself, and Love one another. These are simple words for a difficult task.

Since being in New Zealand, I've been offended when generalized as a "typical American." The conjured Hollywood image of American twenty-somethings is a far cry from the reality of my life as a feminist, heterosexual, Volvo-driving, Christian college student from Maine. I know the dangers of generalizing, but why do I fall prey to them when it comes to fundamentalist and conservative Christianity? In Melinda Henneberger's online Newsweek commentary, "Why Atheists are right about the pledge" Henneberger, a Catholic, points out that Christianity, and religion in general have become infused in society, but more for a symbolic purpose than with any actual meaning. She says that we are no better than the Romans, when they made Christianity their compulsory state religion.

While the mega-church phenomenon and the growing non-denominational and fundamentalist movements were thriving before September 11th, since then it has become fashionable to be religious. As Christians we're challenged to love our neighbor as ourselves, but where is the Great Commandment in the emerging Christian movements? President Bush used his faith to justify the invasion of Iraq, and the Christian Right has supported him in his anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, and anti-Muslim policies.

Last week I attended a modern worship service at St. Paul's Anglican Church in Auckland. The service is a relatively new venture for St. Paul's, and is aimed at the 18-35 year-old crowd. St. Paul's formed a partnership with a church in London, and brought a worship team over for six months to get the program rolling. Worship combines a Christian rock band, catchy sermonettes tied into life stories and a Bible passage or two for good measure. Surprisingly, for an Anglican (Episcopal) church, there was no communion at the service or a printed order of worship. There was, however, an altar call with the opportunity to be "prayed over" at the end of the service. Attendance was pretty good - between 80-100 young persons. Despite the seeming warmth and hospitality of the congregation, the modern music, and the informal worship style, I was uncomfortable and found the service lacking.

It could be my past experience that prevented my full participation in the service. I entered university two weeks before the September 11th attacks. I have warily attended a few Intervarsity meetings on campus, listened to my sociology professor describe Jesus' ministry, and even went on a bowling night. It was fun at first, but summing up the beliefs of Intervarsity, I quickly realized I was in conservative, non-denominational Christian territory. Thus, I have had to differentiate and identify myself as a liberal Christian.

I throw a curve ball when I explain that my denomination ordains gay ministers and performs unions. On most occasions this produces a look of surprise or disgust in my listener. I've had many a late night conversation about "what the Bible says about being gay" with someone who believes their opinion is fully justified and supported by passages X, Y and Z. Upon further encouragement, the person could most likely quote the passages word for word "...and then God rained down sulfur on Sodom..." My response is less passage specific, but no less impassioned. God loves everyone, I say, and our first commandment is to love God, and secondly to love God's people. As an expression of this love, we should not make exclusions based on someone's sexual orientation, race etc etc. When we are able to love someone else in a partnership, whether they are male, female, transgendered or intersexed, it is a gift from God, not a burden or a sin. I realize this is a radically liberal view to have.

Sitting through St. Paul's modern service I felt out of place. Speaking to a worship leader after the service, I learned that the group has more conservative social views. While we didn't have the time to delve into a conversation on theological doctrine, I can predict how the conversation would have gone.

While working for my universities' chaplaincy, I encountered people from a variety of religious backgrounds and social perspectives. I did not always agree with people, and some would say I took my liberalism too far. It was a challenge to work with and minister to those whose views were so different from my own. While the very definition of being liberal is being open to new ideas, my mind instantly shuts to a religion that condemns homosexuality or condones Muslim discrimination. I cringe when President Bush uses his faith as justification for his government policies.

After attending three General Synods I have been indoctrinated with the phrase "Multiracial, Multicultural, Open and Affirming, Accessible to All, Just Peace Church". Certainly I am glad that the UCC is all of these things. It is why I call the UCC home. The one problem with this identity is that while encouraging me to embrace everyone it doesn't tell me how to deal with the people I disagree with. I have tolerance for diversity, but not when it discriminates. I can love others, but it is difficult when they hate the people I love. I struggle with how to model Jesus' radical inclusivity, when some Christians practice radical exclusivity. Sometimes I wonder if we who call ourselves Christian are using the same Bible. Perhaps I am a hypocrite in my beliefs, my argument is too simplistic, or my views of Jesus's message are misconstrued. Perhaps I jump to conclusions about conservative or fundamentalist Christianity too quickly.

For me, state imposed religion is not a cure all to our countries' ills and flashy modern worship alone is not the answer for attracting the 18-35 year old crowd to church. I do not want a five-step program to salvation. I want to wrestle with some spiritual substance. I want to become intellectually intimate with Jesus. I'll take my traditional communion service and organ music over a modern worship service any day if it means I worship with people who believe God is Love and mirror that in their daily lives.

Katelyn Macrae, a senior at Colgate University, is in her second year as a member of the STEP Leadership Team. The sociology major is a member of First Parish Congregational Church in Saco, Maine.